Conflict at work

The time cost of workplace conflict

A 2008 CPP survey across nine countries found that 85% of employees experienced workplace conflict, defined as disagreement that interrupts the flow of work. US respondents reported spending an average of 2.8 hours per week on conflict. CPP valued that time at approximately $359 billion in paid working hours for 2008.

The Myers-Briggs Company's 2022 research provides another comparison. Respondents reported spending an average of 4.34 hours per week on conflict, roughly twice the 2.1 hours recorded in the company's 2008 comparison. Managers reported spending more than four hours per week on conflict. More than one-third of respondents experienced it often, very often, or all the time, compared with 29% in 2008. Poor communication was the most frequently cited cause.

CPP calculated its $359 billion estimate for 2008 using employee earnings and time spent on disagreements.

Five ways people respond to conflict

The Thomas-Kilmann model identifies five common approaches to conflict. Developed in 1974, the model looks at two dimensions: assertiveness and cooperativeness. Assertiveness describes how strongly you pursue your own concerns. Cooperativeness describes how much you consider the other person's concerns. Understanding the five approaches helps you recognize your usual response and choose a different one when the situation calls for it.

Two dimensions

How directly you pursue your concerns and how much you consider the other person's concerns.

Five conflict styles

Competing, collaborating, compromising, avoiding, and accommodating.

Each style can be useful in different circumstances. Knowing your usual approach makes it easier to choose a different response when the situation calls for one. Your usual style describes how you tend to respond, rather than how skilled you are. Workplace scenarios show how you apply those approaches in specific situations.

Make disagreements productive

Disagreement about the work can help people examine ideas, identify concerns, and consider different approaches. A productive discussion needs a clear decision and a way for people to move forward together.

A 2003 meta-analysis by De Dreu and Weingart examined two types of conflict: task conflict, involving disagreements about work and decisions, and relationship conflict, involving personal tension. The researchers found that both types were associated with lower team performance and satisfaction on average. The negative relationship with performance was stronger in complex work, including decision-making and project teams, than in production work.

Keep disagreements focused on the work. Ask each person to explain their reasoning, listen to different perspectives, and work toward a clear decision. Everyone should understand what was decided and why.

Four habits for handling conflict

These four habits can help managers handle disagreements constructively.

1. Raise concerns early. Speak directly with the people involved. Use your organization's reporting process for harassment, threats, discrimination, or safety concerns. In the 2022 Myers-Briggs research, addressing conflict quickly, directly, and earlier was among the top improvements people wanted from those around them. Addressing the concern early gives people a chance to resolve it before it grows.
2. Keep the conversation calm. Slow the pace and repeat what you heard in your own words before responding. This shows you heard the concern and gives the other person a chance to clarify it. If the conversation gets heated, agree on a break and a time to continue.
3. Understand what matters to each person. Start with what each person is asking for, then find out why it matters to them. The reason behind a request may reveal options neither person had considered. This is central to the principled-negotiation method Fisher and Ury published in Getting to Yes.
4. Agree on next steps and address the relationship. Confirm what was agreed, who is responsible, and when you will follow up. If the disagreement affected the working relationship, make time to address that too.

Compare your self-rating with your choices

Managers may rate their conflict-handling skills more favorably than employees do. In CPP's 2008 study, 31% of managers rated themselves as skilled at handling conflict. Only 22% of employees said their managers handled conflict well. The Myers-Briggs Company's 2022 research found that approximately one in four respondents rated their manager's conflict handling as poor or very poor.

Compare how you rate your conflict-handling skills with the choices you make in realistic workplace scenarios. Look for patterns in where the two differ.